There are certain things you do not say when you're conversing with people.
And I know many are obvious, like "Hey, your ass does look fat, like a fucking gorilla, not to mention that face of yours" But others are not so obvious.
Well they are, but no matter how much you think you know not to say it, you'll always say it like a complete pillock.

Anyway I'm talking about many things, one being "With you".
Now this isn't an obvious point I'm making, and I'm guessing that even though you THINK you know what I mean, you do not, so just forget it.
But then again, you may be a smart ol' person, if so, kudos to you. And I mean it, really.

So cutting to the point, when I'm pissed off, or upset, or just plain wrong, I'm fine with people asking "What's up?" or "What's wrong?".
..You can see where this is going.
But when it's twinned with "What's up WITH YOU?" Or even, "What's wrong WITH YOU?" It takes a nasty turn.
You may THINK you're being nice, but in reality you're being a nasty little bitch.
You're being a stupid FUCK who doesn't give TWO SHITS about who you're talking to. And yeah, I'm not telling YOU what's up, because IN MY OPINION whatever is up is only up YOUR ASS. End of story.
So yeah, why add with you? Any point? Trying to fill your sentance because it seems a little dull? Who gives 2 shades of a FUCK, you're supposed to be cheering someone up, not battering in the fact you couldn't care less.

And another one, why tell someone to calm down? Lol?
You realise that unless you're qualified to do so, you honestly won't calm someone down by telling them to calm down. Or chill out.
And you will NEVER NOT IN A FUCKING GAZZILION YEARS not get a fucking smack in the face if you interrupt someone when they're trying to talk when they're pissed. If I'm trying to get a point out, I'll get it out, I swear to god I'll get it out even if you're unconsious on the floor with 2 bricks shoved into your face.

Quick note if you're a right little piece of shit, This stuff doesn't really piss me off on the internet. Being interrupted on the internet doesn't really work. It takes me half a second to read 2 lines of text. So if I read my line first, I can make-believe I said it first. Capish?

You know what, I'm going to let you in on a well known fact. I like to talk.
I like to ramble on for 10 hours about FUCK ALL. But when it comes to doing it for an actual purpose.. God knows what happens.
I cannot for the life of me drag it out. But believe me, the hate is there.
And if you know me, you'll know it's true.

By the way, little extra note. I also dislike babies. Bass when it's not coming from my own music. Smoke. No I am not a smoker, and if you are shame on you. I know smokers read this, and good. You should be ashamed of yourself, and believe me, I will KNOW if you're ashamed of yourself. I put the ASH IN ashamed, so if you don't then I swear I will just write an angry note here. Seriously. What is wrong with smokers? Have you not tasted cigarettes? Drugs? Anything on those lines? Seriously? I'm being deadly serious, did you lose your sense of taste/smell/every single thing as a child? Because if not, you're just a proper twonk. I mean I'm not going to lie. I have used one in my entire life, and lol? You're a dumb fuck. It tasted like.. Well, in my head it tasted like charcoal. I've never consumed charcoal nor do I wish to. Not now I know how UTTER SHIT it would be. I mean come on, How can you get addicted after O-N-E. Surely you take ONE SINGLE BREATH and realise "Hey, I'm a dumb fuck if I take another puff, doho.".
Instead you do not. You continue to do it. What? I can even understand doing, I don't know, heroine. Because apparently that gets you high. And you don't even have to taste it if you don't want to! Man, why don't you just fuck off and get some? Don't really, by the way. Instead, just buy a large pack of paracetamol, and take 2 every 3 hours. Just to substitute drugs. You know, like taking morphine as a heroine substitute. Only it's much better, because it's counter-recieveable AND you won't have to stay in bed for 6 weeks.

As an end note, I am deeply sorry if I have offended anyone. I have a lot of thoughts rushing through this head, and letting them out relieves me of them for the most part.
And just to say, every single person but me in my house smokes. Mother, her boyfriend, my brother, probably all of their friends. So yeah, if someone you're close to smokes and you think I'm digging at you personally, I'm really not, it's just sometimes opinions aren't the nicest things out there.

Until next time. (Are you serious? A blog about 2 words turning into a smoke rant? Stupid IMO.)

This is a land where pigs can actually fly.

Incase you haven't worked out where I'm talking about from the title, I'm gonna clear up one small thing.
It's not Scotland.

So earlier I was woken up by banging. Banging. Banging. Banging. Banging.
Yeah, I was not amused. Do not think the repetition was a joke. It was not.
And something that bugged me is realising an hour or so later that what I was imagining while I was being woken up wasn't even reality, I'd been dreamsnatched!
I fucking hate it when I feel like I've had an amazing dream, and then it's stolen! FROM MY MEMORY.
Ok so let me share this stolen dream with you, so you know why I'm pissed about forgetting it..

So me and two guys were backpacking across New Jersey, and one of my friends says to me "Hey Ash, where are we actually going? We've been walking three days and you've not even stopped at a city."
Incase you did not realise, that dream never happened. Or it MAY have if I wasn't woken by some DUMB SHIT WALKING AROUND IN TAP SHOES IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

You know what, in my opinion that's not even that annoying. Sure, it's lost imagination, but the worst for me is remembering dreams and then realising it's never going to happen.
It's like watching a good movie, only for a second there it's you living the dream (PUN INTENDED AHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!) and being a star in your own world.
Now usually I'd share one of these dreams I've had with you, but most of them are shitty and as I've said before, my memory is piss poor and I don't even know what they were.

Oh and while I'm here! Don't you FUCKING HATE IT when you're having a conversation and use a really bad reply the second the person speaks, then think of another, much better one, right after?
And what's even worse is when 2 days later you're thinking and say to yourself "HEY, THIS WOULD BE AN AMAZING COMEBACK".
Shame you'll never get to use it eh, because that's how shit the cards are dealt sometimes!

Quick note before I go. One other thing that's unrelated to this, although I hate it.
I hate when I go to Tesco and when I get to the reduced area SOME OLD WOMAN HAS TAKEN ALL MY PASTRIES, MUFFINS, COOKIES AND GOOD SHIT. WTF? Come on old woman, gtfo, you're not gonna eat all that shit and even if you are at least give me one of the good packs. I mean what am I left with? Coissants? Pain Au Chocolate? Those aren't bad but I'd much rather have a 4 pack of chocolate muffins for 40p.
It's a cruel world we live in, a cruel world indeed.

When the candle light dies out.

As many of you know, I've tried to be as creative as possible for the first few of my blogs.
..well, you probably DON'T know, pretty much because my creativity has it's limits, and oh boy are those limits small.

Aaaaaaanyway, this blog is going to be different. And I know, I know, a shitty boring blog is, well, that.
Shitty. And boring.
But who cares right? I mean, it's a blog anyway, nobody actually cares about this.

*cough* So yeah, THIS blog will be a LIST of things I hate. And no, not just a random old list, a THEMED list! Rejoice.
And aren't you curious as to what the list theme will be? No? Thought so. So I won't tell you, and I'll make you guess.
I mean, you will NEVER guess it's things I hate to do with the kitchen. Probably because you won't actually read past the first line of this blog.
Righto, onto the business:
The mass amount of spoons. I mean, my mum gives me a spoon for every damn meal.
The utter shite smell of the fridge, no matter what's in it. Chocolate fudge cake and a 6 pack of coke? Nice, smells of shit though.
The cupboards always having completely unedible crap in them.
The stupid fucks that DROP CRAP ON THE FLOOR in there like morons. I've said I hate it when stuff is on the floor, and the kitchen is the number one place to drop shit. Like a drink. Why not mop that shit up? Or use a towel? Or your own fucking face. I wouldn't care as much if I was stepping on your broken teeth and a bath of blood.
Bread in the fridge. WHO. THE. FUCK. Puts BREAD in the fridge? Retarded? Yes. Why the fuck would you? It's bread, not a fucking ice-cream sandwich.
A shitty old radio that only plays that crap radio station nobody likes. Hey look, it's the golden years, let's listen to some 20's. Wait a second, No.
People throwing plates WITH FOOD ON in the sink. You think people LIKE putting their hands in water filled with your fucking sauce? Oh yeah, I love running my hands through your chips and eggyolk, dirty shit.
That spider you always see at 3am. Ties in with another hate. Why the fuck do you always come out of the fridge floor when I have no shoes or socks on? You think I'm gonna kill you when I'm half asleep AND half naked? Cowardly fuck, come out when the fight is fair. Piece of shit.
People leaving their own personal food in clear view of everyone else, when they're CLEARLY not using the kitchen. Lol? Why don't you go FUCK OFF and use your own damn room. If I wanted to stare at shit I can't consume I'd take a trip to Tesco. The only difference is that if I feel really hungry I can actually buy the shit and not feel guilty. Selfish fucking bastards.
When people wash MY CUPS THAT I AM USING. I make it a point to put a cup I use to the side when I use it. Not completely out of sight, but obvious enough so that people think "Hey, someone's using the cup, let's not fuck with it". Sure if they drank from it I'd be cool, but they're washing it, meaning it's got dirty water and shit in it, L2P please. (Note this is about cups, not food, so it's not contradicting the point before)
The fact there's an unplugged TV in there on the wall. Why? I mean, if I want to watch TV in there I actually have to bring my own? Why the hell can't you LEARN TO PLUG IT IN. I would, but I like the idea of being awkward and bringing my own.
The table being so damn sticky. WTF?? WHY THE HELL IS IT SO STICKY. It's like.. sticky? Not juice sticky, just sticky sticky. Like it's maple.. but I'm sure making maple trees into tables won't leave them sticky.. or will it?

And yeah. There's probably more. But you know what, I can't think. That's another thing I hate, NOT BEING ABLE TO THINK.
Farewell for now.

They're small. And annoying as fuck. (No, I don't mean the letters)

Incase you don't already know, I fucking hate spiders. And moths. And ants.
So yeah, I'm sure you do too. And if not, fine, I don't care, just quit reading and GTFO.

Or, don't, I don't care which.
Anyway yeah, spiders are little pieces of shit in paticular. I mean, what the FUCK is their problem? Randomly sitting in a corner staring for fucking hours, not moving at all.
And even if you hit them, THEY DO NOT DIE. And they come back.

And Moths are the same, WTF is with them? I mean they fly into your room with no fucking warning and start hitting your face.

Yeah, I really don't like them.
And even when you throw shit at them, they just dodge it and CONTINUE TO BE FUCKING SHIT.
Damn, they make me rage.

That one damn letter.

Now from that title, what do you think I mean?

It's a great title for this, because it could refer to a few things.
The two main ones being the letters K and I. Both are very annoying.

Why? You may ask. Well I'll tell you. One of the things I hate more than anything is when someone replies to me with a "k" and nothing else.
Sure, if they put it then put something else after I can deal with it, but just the letter k sends me into a spiral of rage.

Also, the letter I when uncapped, alone, is FUCKING STUPID. I'm sorry, but it also sends me into a rage. Don't ask why, it's just something that happens.

On the same kind of note, I don't like it when people use the wrong version of the words "you're&your"
I mean please. Why? WHY??
I won't get into it, but it's just stupid. Please just LEARN WHAT EACH WORD MEANS BEFORE USING THEM.

So yeah, that pisses me off.

Day one.

So I've been thinking, isn't it annoying when people leave shit on the floor?

You know, just random shit. But today someone did something so enourmously stupid in Tesco.. They left a FUCKING CURRY ON THE FLOOR?

Seriously? Dumb fucking shit much.

I mean firstly, why open a fucking curry INSIDE THE SHOP? And it was at the damn checkout too.

Too fat and fucking greedy to wait to pay? Couldn't bear the thought of leaving it 20 more seconds?
Seriously, and it was cold too. So desperate for your shit you're ACTUALLY eating it cold? I guess not. Must have tasted how shit it was considering it was on the damn floor.

And I'm only bringing this up because I almost tripped over on this shite, and it went all over my fucking shoe. Fucking dumb shits making my shoe smell like the Taj Mahal because you couldn't keep your fucking shit closed.

So yeah. This shit made me think of doing this. And now I shall be the best I have ever been.. at hating.